oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
