...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
