Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
