nut hugger
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
