he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
