so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What a dumb baby whore.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
