My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
