I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
