Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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