I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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