You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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