After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
