I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
