Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
