i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i think my cat just said my name.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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