i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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