Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
