I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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