i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
