he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
