So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
