Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
