You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
