Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
