I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
