remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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