last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
