how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
