I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
