Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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