I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
