i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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