I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
