Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
