Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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