I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just found puke in my bra..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize