evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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