Apparently you make a good broom.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
