well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
