it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
