had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
