If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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