i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
