Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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