No awkward lesbian experiences without me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize