you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
