i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
