you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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