you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
