So gin and wine won't be happening again
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
