I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
