i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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