found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize