So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
