the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
