You really coming over, don't trick.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
