so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
