Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
