just come out here and I will go home with you...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
