I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize